Everybody seems to have one, usually more than one. Yeah, you thought you knew what I was going to mention, until I said that usually it was more than one. Actually, you would have been close.

Arms? Fingers? Toes? Televisions? Cars? No. I am not alluding to anything desirable or useful. I refer to idiots supposedly representing our interests. I speak of simpleminded politicians.

Here in Tennessee we may not have the most, but only because there are much larger states. On a per capita basis we must be a leading contender. Our “representatives” may have set a new standard for stupidity.

My Personal Embarrassment

Deborah Maggart is my state representative. Checking out the bills she sponsored in the latest session, one might come to the conclusion that she has some expertise in education, mental illness, taxes, the Constitution and such. Not really.

She is concerned with the safety of our children. She sponsored a bill that keeps local government from storing magazines or gun powder within a mile of a daycare center or school. Presumably, it is acceptable for private companies or individuals to do so.

It’s just a guess but she does appear competent to assign names to bridges and highways.

Miss Debbie joined with her peers to commit what may be the supreme act of legislative witlessness.

Specifically, the bill is an amendment to the Tennessee Code Annotated Title 39 – Chapter 17 – Part 362. Harassment.

(a)  A person commits an offense who intentionally:
(1)  Threatens, by telephone, in writing or by electronic communication, including, but not limited to, text messaging, facsimile transmissions, electronic mail or Internet services, to take action known to be unlawful against any person and by this action knowingly annoys or alarms the recipient;

Edited here for length and pertinence.

(4)  Communicates with another person by any method described in subdivision (a)(1), without legitimate purpose:
(A)  (i)  With the malicious intent to frighten, intimidate or cause emotional distress; or
(ii)  In a manner the defendant knows, or reasonably should know, would frighten, intimidate or cause emotional distress to a similarly situated person of reasonable sensibilities; and
(B)  As the result of the communication, the person is frightened, intimidated or emotionally distressed.

Back to the real world

It seems impossible to write a bill with a broader brush. Particularly given the animus of present public discourse, is there any comment or action to which this law could not be construed to apply? I would not recommend spending wasting too much time musing on that question.

I considered not mentioning this and holding my home state up to such ridicule. Then I saw it as a story on a national newscast. Maybe I should take this as an opportunity to feel better about myself; to see myself as superior to the bozos that elected this bunch from their midst.

Many of you may be familiar with our new governor’s family business. It is Pilot, by far the largest company in the business of operating truck stops along our nation’s highways. I should think a person operating a billion dollar business would have vetoed such a monstrosity. Silly me.

Since the state is already a laughing stock, my actions cannot possibly put it in a worse light. This law should be challenged and the remnants hung around the necks of those responsible. Having been disappointed in my home state with some frequency, it may not be challenged if I fail to do so. Here is my attempt to challenge this embarrassing, ridiculous law. Come and get me. I am putting myself in jeopardy of a year of imprisonment and a $2,500 fine.

Blacks can certainly claim that the flag above leads to emotional distress. So can any true American; anyone of normal human sensibility. My calling it a symbol of treason should piss off everyone else. So there, I admit to the proscribed action and to the illegal nature of the symbol.

Before signing off let me attend to two details. That flag is not the flag of the Confederacy. It was Lee’s battle flag. Few worshipers of it know that little tidbit of history. The other detail has to do with the title of the act. It covers harassment. Almost everyone mispronounces the word. It springs from the same root as the words to harry, harried, harrier (as in the vertical take-off jet fighter) and my own surname, Harris. The emphasis is on the initial syllable: har’ ass ment.

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I am going on a little trip. This coming Saturday I will be off on the first leg – to North Carolina. I depart from New York on Sunday.

It has been some time since I last visited Scotland; 1971, in fact. I lucked out and left the States the day after Nixon allowed the Dollar to float. No one had any idea how much it was worth relative to any other currency. It was a time ripe for ripoffs.

I exchanged some pocket money at Kennedy Airport prior to departure – a ripoff. Luckily, the Royal Bank of Scotland had a branch in the airport at Prestwick. It turned out to be about the best rate available anywhere. Later, we learned that the biggest gougers were the American hotels in London.

With both Crawford and Harris being Scottish names, it should be no surprise that my genealogy points in that direction. Other family names include Fraser (from around Loch Ness), McJunkin (Scot-Irish) and Morgan (Welsh, but also Gaelic).

The most success in tracing our genealogy has come with the Frasers. In that part of our family was a U.S. Representative, his father, a Governor and Senator. Further back, Simon Fraser, chief adjutant to William Wallace, he of Braveheart fame was found to be in our family.

I will be visiting Sterling, site of the famous Wallace victory of Sterling Bridge. Braveheart was a wonderful movie but atrocious history. Its Battle of Sterling Bridge was filmed in Ireland, with no bridges anywhere in the vicinity. I will also visit Culloden Battlefield, site of a horrific defeat for the forces of the Jacobite Rising of 1745. It was the last battle fought on British soil.

It is also where we got the phrase ‘beyond the pale.’ Pale means white or light-colored. It came to be used as referring to a paling fence. Then such a fence became a pale, meaning a safe enclosed area. Being ‘beyond the pale’ was to be in a bad situation. There was a pale at Culloden.

Our Harris family is a sept, or sub-clan, under the Clan McLeod. There is an Isle of Harris. You may have heard of Harris Tweed, sometimes called iron cloth. The name is protected by the British Crown.

The lead picture is of the rear of the Castle Dunvegan, home of the head of the clan. It has been the home of that family for over 800 years. That makes it the residence continuously occupied for the longest period of any in the world. Immediately above is a picture of its entrance.

While the interiors for the recent movie, Maid of Honor, were filmed at Dunvegan, the exteriors were of a nearby castle, Eilean Donan. It is the most photographed castle in Scotland.

Much of the staff of the Castle Dunvegan was used as extras in the movie.

I will be taking a netbook, a laptop, a video camera and a still camera. If I have a few down moments, I may try to post a few pictures and a minimal travelogue. Don’t count on it though. I hope to spend my time enjoying what likely will be my last visit there.

My hope is that it won’t be the last. While there I will be contacting literary agents and booking agents. It would be great if I am able to put together a book tour. That might pay for a return and a 2-3 month tour of Europe. Wouldn’t that be nice?

My wife refuses to fly. But, she says, she is concerned that I might enjoy myself so much that I would decide to remain over there. No, it wouldn’t be for the universal healthcare. After all, I am on Medicare.

More likely it would be due to the beauty of the country, the sense of history, and the chance to get away from the birthers, the deathers and the teabaggers.

Don’t begin celebrating prematurely. I’ll be back.

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