Here is my small tribute to all of the fellow members of my gender for Father’s Day.

Why it’s great to be a guy.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
Phone conversations last 30 seconds.
You can open all of your own jars.
You can use a public bathroom alone.
When clicking through the channels you don’t have to stop on every scene of someone crying.
You can leave a hotel room bed unmade.
You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You have a normal, healthy relationship with your mother.
You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes.
A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend.
Flowers fix everything.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Car mechanics will always tell you the truth.
Grey hair and wrinkles add character.
You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking “He must be mad at me.”
One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color . . . all seasons.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
You don’t pass on dessert, them mooch off of someone else’s.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

Behave yourself . . . or not.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

How many mothers are there in this country? 50 million? 70 million? 90 million? Last night Joe Biden legitimized single fathers. It’s about time. Thank you, Joe.

After the death of my first wife, I was a single father for nine years. I now hear a constant drumbeat that Sarah Palin is qualified for president for several reasons. The first is always that she is a mother. Does that mean there are tens of millions of mothers who are likewise qualified?

Are fathers chopped liver? Being a parent is a major responsibility. Many do it well.  Many don’t. Being a single parent, of which Sarah cannot speak, is an even greater responsibility. Many do it well. Many don’t. Whatever, I am sick to death of the mantra that being a mother is her major qualification for the Oval Office.

Let’s look a little beyond her status of parenthood. What kind of vice president would she be? The factors that I have been considering really put fear in my heart. It is difficult to imagine how the country, as I have known it for most of my life, could survive. Okay, what are those considerations?

Remember, she has little, if any, experience serving in the position of an underling. She was a mayor, however small the town. She is a governor. Perhaps it was telling when she was on the stump referring to the Palin-McCain ticket.

The matter became crystalized at the debate. She said that, despite the way Joe and Gwen Ifill expected her to respond, regardless of the rules to which she and the campaign had agreed, she was going to answer what she wanted to answer. The rules are not for her.

What was so important that it required such a show of ego, a show of contempt for the other parties? She wanted to talk directly to the television audience about her experience as mayor and governor. Well, that justifies egotistical, antisocial behavior.

Is that all? Hardly. The scariest part came later. She agreed with Cheney’s absurd perception of the role of a vice president. She wants to redefine the position. Although she earlier didn’t know what a vice president did, she has apparently been briefed. It doesn’t appeal to her as the duties are traditionally defined.

She claimed that she was joking. Really? Let’s look at the exact quote to see if she was joking.

“As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day? I’m used to being very productive and working real hard in an administration. We want to make sure that that VP slot would be a fruitful type of position, especially for Alaskans and for the things that we’re trying to accomplish up here for the rest of the U.S., before I can even start addressing that question.”

Was she joking about her concern that the job be fruitful for Alaskans? Or, is she just a fruit? No. She may be a fruit but her claim that she was joking was a baldfaced lie. She is willing to say anything and expects everyone else to be too dense to catch her. Personally, I would not be thrilled with a vice president or president who had that opinion of me, even if it were accurate. How about you?

As she didn’t bother with the rules and had contempt for the other parties in the debate, she doesn’t want to be constrained by some old piece of parchment. If I were John McCain, I would be scared. She is a better shot than Cheney.

Her candidacy would be a joke were it not an actual possibility. Given what it took for me to acquire my modest credentials in international relations and being able to appreciate Biden’s extensive expertise in that field, they were laugh-out-loud moments when Mommie Sarah lectured Joe on the subject.

This person has an ego to match her state. She has ambition to match her state. She has an appreciation of the rules, the Constitution, consideration for others and common decency far smaller than a drop of oil.

I’m scared. If you’re not, see if you can get your meds reduced. You betcha. Wink, wink.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites