Blackboard Bungle

This is a subject that I wanted to post on but found someone who has already done it in a much more entertaining manner.

Bill Maher periodically offers his “New Rules.” I have provided this one unedited for your edification.

A school board in Rhode Island just fired all of the teachers at a school that was not performing well. So, blame the teachers. That takes the heat off of the guilty.

Full disclosure requires me to admit that my wife retired after 34 years of teaching in the public school system. I, also, have taught on a short-term basis in that system, as well as on the college level.

I have included a response Bill received and a very few additional comments of my own.

New Rule: Let’s not fire the teachers when students don’t learn – let’s fire the parents. Last week President Obama defended the firing of every single teacher in a struggling high school in a poor Rhode Island neighborhood. [ed. This does not speak well of the President, given his own academic background] And the kids were outraged. They said, “Why blame our teachers?” and “Who’s President Obama?” I think it was Whitney Houston who said, “I believe that children are our future – teach them well and let them lead the way.” And that’s the last sound piece of educational advice this country has gotten – from a crack head in the ’80′s.

Yes, America has found its new boogeyman to blame for our crumbling educational system. It’s just too easy to blame the teachers, what with their cushy teachers’ lounges, their fat-cat salaries, and their absolute authority in deciding who gets a hall pass. We all remember high school – canning the entire faculty is a nationwide revenge fantasy. Take that, Mrs. Crabtree! And guess what? We’re chewing gum and no, we didn’t bring enough for everybody.

But isn’t it convenient that once again it turns out that the problem isn’t us, and the fix is something that doesn’t require us to change our behavior or spend any money. It’s so simple: Fire the bad teachers, hire good ones from some undisclosed location, [emphasis added] and hey, while we’re at it let’s cut taxes more. It’s the kind of comprehensive educational solution that could only come from a completely ignorant people.

Firing all the teachers may feel good – we’re Americans, kicking people when they’re down is what we do – but it’s not really their fault. Now, undeniably, there are some bad teachers out there. They don’t know the material, they don’t make things interesting, they have sex with the same kid every day instead of spreading the love around . . . But every school has crappy teachers. Yale has crappy teachers – they must, they gave us George Bush.

According to all the studies, it doesn’t matter what teachers do. Although everyone appreciates foreplay. What matters is what parents do. The number one predictor of a child’s academic success is parental involvement. It doesn’t even matter if your kid goes to private or public school. So save the twenty grand a year and treat yourself to a nice vacation away from the little bastards.

It’s also been proven that just having books in the house makes a huge difference in a child’s development. If your home is adorned with nothing but Hummel dolls, DVD’s, and bleeding Jesuses, congratulations, you’ve just given your children the gift of Duh. Sarah Palin said recently she wrote on her hand because her father used to do it. I rest my case.

When there are no books in the house, and there are no parents in the house, you know who raises the kids? That’s right, the television. Kids aren’t keeping up with their studies; they’re keeping up with the Kardashians. We’re allowing the television, as babysitter, to turn us into a nation of slutty idiots. By the way, one sign your 9-year-old may be watching too much One Tree Hill: if she has an imaginary friend with benefits.

Bill is on target when he states that parental involvement is the number one predictor of academic success. And, number two is books in the home. Number three is class size.

The teachers take the hit for the parents with the first two. The politicians try to avoid blame for the third by pointing at the teachers. The voters share the blame on this last one by constantly harping on cutting taxes. The politicians and voters seem to expect a world-class educational system on the cheap. It ain’t gonna happen.

The following is a response Bill’s comments elicited:

Hey Bill, I am usually with you on many topics . . . There are parents in this country that should get nowhere near their child’s education, that is why we have teachers. Teachers are important for that reason alone. You cannot look at our society today and think the parents can teach them anything. As for good parents not taking time for their kids education, I will give you a few feet; but someone has to remember that the parents in this country left the house for a job, a job to get them into a neighborhood with a fully funded school that teaches, not herds. If you want to blame parents, OK, but you simply cannot leave out the mentality in this country that calls for ever greater profits, resulting in ever greater costs, that has resulted in mom and dad fighting day in and day out, just to pay the bills. As to my main point, I want the teachers in this country to be paid very well, and perform very well. Lord knows the education most children get from their parents has given us the society we have today. But I do get your point.

The writer makes one valid point. The economy has forced both parents into the workforce to the extent that many are unable to be ideal parents. That is used by too many as an excuse when they are unwilling to invest what time they have in parenting when American Idol is on.

The basic answer to this responder is that people might do well to consider having fewer children or none or waiting until they are ready to get involved. Otherwise, having children is little more than an ego trip. Children are a major responsibility. Anyone unwilling to shoulder that responsibility should refrain from procreation. And, they should definitely abandon the title of parent.